Beautiful Chaos: Step One.

The first step to success: believing you can do it.

And believe me, I CAN DO IT.

Saturday I prayed, finally. And Sunday, I prayed again, with no avail.

On Sunday my busy life was just, busier, my craziness got crazier, the chaos got more, chaotic.

And I didnt know what to do.

I was tired, I was confused, I was angry, I was wandering aimlessly in my life.

I am still wandering but I wouldnt say aimlessly, because I am trying to find a way.

It is not easy, by any means. But its WAY easier than it was a week ago.

Care to know why?

Well, because Saturday my life was so crazy and so busy and I was sitting in the chair at the youth rally thinking about all the things that were coming up for me to do and I got extremely tired. Then I got angry. Then I cried.

Im a total Girl, I know.

I broke down, there is noo way on planet Earth I could ever do all of this stuff.

And on top of that I had many things to think about..

I had to decide if I was going to speak out and be a good friend

I had to decide if I was going to live a life holy and pleasing so I could make a difference in a girls life

I couldnt stop thinking about my mom

I couldnt stop thinking about Mike

I had to think about my grades and college (I know some of you are thinking "You're only a Junior!!" But everything I do now counts..)

I was thinking about my HUGE decision that has to be made by Christmas

I was thinking about whether or not I was going to give up Wednesday Nights and Sunday Nights to further my volleyball career

I was thinking about how much I want someone to come in and make all these decisions for me.

And then I hit a brick wall. hard.

I can't do it on my own. If I am going to do these things mentioned (and more that I care not to type.)

I need to trust in God, with everything because in the end (and I dont usually quote tools very often)

"ITS NOT ABOUT ME!!"

And somewhere, deep, deep, deep in my heart I know that.

And so step one to having beautiful chaos is...Trusting in God.

And so, I am on the road to recovery.

Feel free to join me.

Love&Rockets

Aggie