Costa Rica Experience.

Today is the first day I spent waking up and getting ready in my new home. The first sunrise I saw in San Jose Costa Rica. It is a beautiful thing. To see students up enjoying God's creation and reading His Word.
There is just something about this place. You don't have to try very hard to make this place home. It just, is.
I guess God has a way of working things out like that.
Yesterday was a...unique experience. We got to the airport at about 6:45, checked our bags, went through security and the whole bit. We boarded at about 9 and our plane took off at 9:45. A flight that was only supposed to take 4 hours ended up taking about 4 and a half. With terrible turbulence. But God is faithful. We landed at about 12:05, and arrived at the Villa at 1.
What a long day. The rest of the day was spent unpacking and bonding. I had my first taste of WalMart in other countries.
and my first taste of other countries, period.
So much is different here than back home. And I havent seen any crawly creatures yet, Praise JESUS!
Although, I am our incumbant spider killer. Don't know how that one happened.
The transition I was worried about , living with peolpe, new friends and everything, so far that has not been a problem. And I look forward to it not being. We have a group that walks to the University in the morning to use the facilities they have so graciously allowed us access to. I was not in that group this morning.
And some of you won't believe this but I am eating fruit! For those that don't know, fruit and I have a hate/hate relationship. I hate eating it. I have serious texture issues. But before I left, I gave those issues to God. I told Him that I woould not make this year miserable by not experiencing the food they have here. nd boy oh boy am I ever glad I did that.
This morning, on my PB&J I used Guava Jelly and I had some fresh mango, . I don't even know what a Guava is. But it was delicious. Last night, we had fresh fruit, yum yum, minus the bananas, I still haven't risen to the banana thing yet.
I feel like God is using this.. Pray that I continue on a path of obedience to Him.
Today lots of things happen, we are evaluted for our spots in ministry and many many other things.
How exciting this is!
Also, as I was reading my Bible this morning I began to think of ways to grow closer to God. One of them was memorizing the Word. This semester I am giong to memorize Romans 6. I just cannot get Romans 6 out of my head. Everything I think and Do and write comes back to Romans 6. How awesome.
This is going to be a great year.
Continue in prayer for me. For my roommates for my GAP family and for my real family.
Things will probably get hard but I am ready and willing for that. The more prayer, the more success.
For it is not my will but His.
I will upload pictures as soon as I can!
Love,
Aggie

Georgia.

Well, I've made it. I arrived in Atlanta Georgia Saturday Afternoon. On the plane, I was afraid. Afraid I was in way over my head. Afraid I was too small for this. Afraid I wouldn't fit here. Afraid I was alone.
Then I was picked up from the airport, from our Director Jeff Hackett. Still fearing was ebbing, Did I not have a host family? was I here too early?
A 20 minute drive from  the Airport to Jeff's Hotel. My host mom met us there.
When I met her, I knew. I felt like a daughter. I was supposed to be here.
She has a daughter. Well, actually she has 2. They are both grown and one is married. Thats the one that Ive had contact with. The other is away at school.
Daughter number one, Alex, was in the GAP Program 3 years ago. So she's been more than happy to fill me in. Her husband was someone she met because of mutual friends in the GAP program. And now they are happily married.
This family is a living testimony of God's faithful hand.
In March, their home church, and Alex's wedding venue, burned to the ground in an electrical fire.
"When God closes one door, He opens another."
The local Presbytarian Church has allowed their church to meet in its gym ever since. Now, the Pres. Church is closing and they have offered the building for sale to their River Church.
Alex's wedding, the Chateu Elan. Yes, where Usher was married. The premire wedding venue. They affered their facitlies paid in FULL. With all the amenities. Full spread, Venue, Catering, Decorating, Guest Rooms, and the Honeymoon suite.
You tell me, How great is our God??
My time in Georgia has been amazing. I feel like part of their family.
God is proving Himself. Not, that He needs to prove Himself but He is revealing Himself.
I guess that's better wording.
Today is my first day of orientation. My first day with 34 new people.
I feel like I've been in this perpetual state of meeting people. I just want to know everyone and be done with it.
But I have a day full of meeting people and team building!
One more night and I'll be in the wonderful country of Costa Rica.
Georgia is great, People are great, God is great.
                                                                   Love,
                                                                   Aggie

A hurricane and a Picture

The only way I find fitting to describe this summer is a hurricane. A storm so violent that you can do nothing but watch it happen, and hide from its aftermath.
So many times I wanted to run away and hide from this summer. From the change, from the uncertainty, from the hurt, from the challenge.
I feel like alot of things happened but I can hardly remember any of them because they happened so fast.
But the end of this summer brings about a rainbow, September 8th at 1:30pm, I will no longer be living where I have been for the past 28 years. I will be on my way to Atlanta Georgia where I will stay for 3 days as part of a trainging program for the GAP Year.
After those 3 days, I will board a plane to my final destination, San Jose Costa Rica.
Can you believe it?!
Me, the girl who is so afraid of change she's bought the same ceral since she was 5 years old and cant get rid of old things for fear of the new. Yes, me. I will be living and learning, along with 23 other people in a brand new culture.
And I'm not even afraid.
Sometimes I have momentary freakouts, but I keep being rerouted to verses in the bible, or songs, or people. All of these things reassuring me that this is where God has placed me and He will make this whole thing work. The time I spend away from here is a learning experience for me. Learning how to fully, completly, entirely rely on God. Something I get out of the habit of doing here in Cozytown MI. -I'm mostly excited. I'm excited because I have no idea what I want to do with my life, at all. And I haven't really been leaning on the Lord to help me make that decision so I know that if I went away to college this year I would be completly wrong. And because if I don't get out of my comfort zone now, I never will.
This experience is something I never in a million years would have expected to do, but here I am, 15 days from take-off.
And I think of the combination of things that has happened to our family, my friends, myself over this summer and sometimes I think, "why God? Why would you work this out like this. you know I'm leaving and I'm leaving for you, so why are you hurting them so?!"
And then I remember that God doesnt take orders from me. It doesnt matter wether I understand the purpose. What matters is that I trust Him. That I love Him. That I live a life that reflects that, even when its not easy.
And then everything is okay again.
Sometimes, I wish the picture were clearer. But then I see the shades and I am reminded that there is a picture there, no matter how hard it is for me to see and that if I just wait, wait a little longer, the picture will get clearer and clearer. And it might not make sense but the picture is already drawn. I just have to color with the crayons He gives me.

-Aggie.

You is kind. You is smart.You is important.

Do you ever find that hard to believe? You are worth it. Sometimes, I find myself forgetting. Thinking "Im just an ordinary part of an ordinary life." Recently I'd forgotten. Feeling less and less important. More and more insignificant, and not because of anything inprticular, more like a thousand little things, wrapped up and combined with the messiness of life. Yes, messiness. Because thats the only word that describes it.

So then I got to thinking and to praying.

What does God think about me?

How does he feel when His "masterpiece" devalues herself? Does His heart break for those who do not love themselves? I think it does.

I keep thinking about myself and thethings Im doing. Honestly, thats why its taken me so long to write.

I just cant come up with anything worth saying. I have a hard time believing that my words matter.

Do they? Does what we say make a difference?

I believe it can. If you are talented. I youre eloquent. If you're charasmatic.

Im not so sure about me yet.

Love&Rockets

Aggie

In the beginning GOD...

This is my post-VBS post.

Sometimes its easy not to need God in everyday life. Of course we always need God but to really need him, to not be able to make it through the day without prayer, Bible reading, complete rendering to God. That is rare. That kind of yearning. And sometimes all the time, it is healthy to step back, step out and watch. Admire the work God is doing that you are too self centered to even realize. 

This is that step for me.

 Normally, Vacation Bible School is held at a church. But where's the fun in that?
We took VBS into the community. We developed relationships outside of our comfort zones. We explored the possibility that there is more to Christian living than being boarded up in our big church with our big steeple and fancy worship services.

SURPRISE! Everything was okay. We survived. In fact, we Christ thrived.

On the first day, our numbers were a staggering 60 kids, most of which were not from our church. 

Tuesday, 85. Still growing.

Wednesday, 83. 

Thursday...are you ready for this? 101

Friday, I actually don't know. But it was a lot.

God worked. 

For the first time I was a team leader, by myself. We were the "Yellow Fellas." (which is funny because we only had 2 boys in our group.) 

Everyday we had a team huddle to discuss what we had learned, what Uncle Al had taught. 

I had one girl specifically who listened so intently to the story, it was amazing. Amazing to see her attitude, her conversation, all change. She was learning, she was getting it! This relationship I held so dear to me with the Almighty God, she SAW it. She wanted it. She UNDERSTOOD it. 

To hear her talk for 20 minutes about the things that she was learning, I could do it for the  rest of my life. 

The other kids in my group were great too. Some were leary to love at first but once we continued to pour and pour into them, they opened up their hearts, and minds. It was a great week. Because I was a leader by myself with 10 young children, a parent stayed to help me. A parent from the community. Not from the church. She was learning too. She was a young mom (only 2 years older than me), we were able to have conversations before bible school started and during it.

 She kept asking, "so why did you decide to do this? why are you going to do this your whole life?"

I just looked at her and told her to look at the kids, 

"Because of them. They are learning. They will know that there is someone out there that loves them. More than you or I ever could. And if I don't do it, who will?" 

She came back Sunday night. 

Maybe I'll see her again. But if I never do I'll know that she knows. She knows about the God who saved me. Who can save her. 

And that's enough for me. 

Also, the double digit countdown for GAP has begun...75 days. 

Honestly.....I don't know what I'm doing. I just know that this is what I want to do.

I have tons of money to raise. 

And I'm hoping this really is what God wants me to do. If it is, he'll help me work it out, right?

Someone tell me I'm right. 

I haven't been praying a lot about it lately. 

I'm terrified. 

Because, what if it changes my life?

 My week in Pictures.

-Aggie-

Its more then just a broken headlight.

"BOOM!" Just like that. The front end of her car was finished. The headlight on the left side, shattered.

Today, I hit a car.

 In a lot of ways that headlight was my life, cracking under pressure. Always being subject to someone else's ideas or opinions.

Until now, Until the external chaos and disaster has become too much. And I just gave up. I surrender to all of the awful things happening around me.

That headlight was so much more than broken glass. It was a symbolof the expectations put on me by everyone else that I will never concievably be able to reach.

It was the fear that someday someone would realize that I do not have it all together.

It was the facade that I wear, every. single. day. That I have hidden behind for so long.

As tears streamed down my face, I broke. Just like that headlight. But for so many different reasons.

I broke because I will never be that girl.

Because I'm always stuck in situations where I care so much and everyone else cares so little.

Because I am living in someone else's reality.

I broke because its just too hard. I can pretend all I want but none of my problems are going away.

A just like that headlight, I can't handle it.

But here's where the headlight and I differ, you can't fix me with a couple hundred dollars.

Truth is, I dont know if you can fix me at all.

Maybe I'm just better off broken.

Love&Rockets

Aggie

Sometimes/Always

So, I stole this idea from a pretty cool lady whose blog I read religiously. Its called "Sometimes/Always." Its pretty easy to understand.

Sometimes: I am in a bad mood.

Always: I am frustrated with my perpetual selfishness

Sometimes: I change my hair color

Always: I look for positive expressions of the change going on in my life.

Sometimes: I yell and scream

Always: I feel as though my voice is not being heard. I am being drowned out by the whirlpool of life that is deafening around me.

Sometimes: I see you.

Always: I wish I did.

Sometimes: I regret the decisions I made in the past.

Always: I remember that I am made up of mistakes, decisions, growth, and change. Without those things I wouldn't be who I am or be going where I am going.

Sometimes: I say what I am thinking.

Always: I cover every possible situation before it occurs and pretty much write out a script to every single scenario.

Sometimes: I weep and wonder.

Always: I know that I have a God who cares and loves me. And I should not be afraid. Always, I have a hope.

Sometimes: I panic.

Always: I want things to run smoothly.

                                                                                         Love&Rockets

                                                                                             Aggie