Everything I am. Or am not.

This week, my self esteem has been battered and bruised. Im not sure how much more of this I can go through. We just finished a time of being thankful right (not entirely, but you catch my drift.)? So today I am going to let you in on my desires. Things I would change. Some would call it "baggage." I would call it "motivation." This insecurities help me to keep moving forward. If I thought I was perfect, Id need no change. No reason to try different things. Or pursue dreams.
So if I could change things about me I would:

• Be taller
• Be thinner
• Be a better listener
• Be organized
• Be a better, more diligant student
• Have my parents approval
• Not let people down
• Do things right the first time
• Not try so hard to mke people like me
• Have joy. Never ending joy.
• Not cry.
• Be slower to anger.
• Tell people how I feel
• Pray harder, longer, more often
• have clear goals
• not get so wrapped up in myself that I sacrifice peoples feelings
• be (more) sensitive to the Spirit
• make my parents proud
• not get distracted
• help out more
• make a relatioship last (and no not a romantic one. just any.)
• touch peoples lives.
• Have a more trained voice
• have talents.
• was a better, more skilled writer.
• not let people down 

There are more things, of that I am sure. But these are the things I deal with, and think about everyday. The things that both push me forward and break me down. That keep me going and make me want to give up. But who am I to expect different things? Why cant I be happy with the life God has given me? I am, I really am. But sometimes I feel as though I screwed it up. And there's no way to get it right again. 

-Aggie-