I pray that they will see more of you and less of me

It is the second day of February. And there is a foot of snow, fabulous.

This month things are changing. My friends, are no longer my friends. I dont know what happened.

They all left, every single freakin one of them.

And part of me doesnt care, and part of me is sad, but, most of me is angry.

Angry that they think Im the one thats making the mistakes. Im the one thats in the wrong, Im the one that needs  to change. That Im the one that HAS changed.

And to that last part, yes this is true. I have changed. Ive began to care more and more about my life beyond this crummy little town and this overrated highschool.

I am future minded.

Im ready.

Ready to start and have a new, better, life.

Ready to give my life, in service. In mission. But Im pretty sure that mission is America. The young, frightened, hurting children.Girls who dont know what else to do.

That is my change.

If you cannot look past your little 11th grade drama filled lives. I dont want to be any part of you.

YOU ARE APATHETIC!!! WAKE UP!

Just because I dont care about who did what with who and what they were wearing, I cannot be your friend?

FINE!

I would rather be known for the help and the love Im trying to bring people, then the awful, condescending jealous attitudes you guys are known for.

I will always love you, you mean the world to me and I will support you.

But I asked that you do the same for me, and that was too much for you.

So until you notice the error of your ways, we will never be real friends. I wont make a scene, I wont "rock the boat" but I will not fully rely on you,ever. I will not invest my time and problems into you.

However, maybe this is God's way of showing me who needs help around me most.

I know you guys claim the name "Christian" and I have no doubt in my mind that you are. But its time you took on the mission and helped out. Its time you saw that being a "Christian" isnt about how involved you are in church or how many verses you can quote or your goo to bad ratio. You have to be able to love people. No matter what they wear or what they say. Not in a condescending "holier-then-thou" "we-do-it-this-way" way, but in the way Jesus would be if He were here right now.

And frankly, You guys suck at it.

Jesus surrounded himself with tax-collectors. The worst of the worst in society.

And He has asked that you do the same.

And this requires a change from you, not me. I cannot force you, although I wish I could. It would be much easier that way. Im not saying you have to act like the world. But you do have to love it. Not because you are worried about what people say about you, and not because you want to be seen by God. Or seen by the "church people" That does no good.

I wish you guys could see yourselves the way other people see you, the way I see you. Maybe then, you would care..

I never want to act like you do.

And I pray that I won't. 

Love&Rockets-

Aggie <3